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Chapter 233 Zombie Wolverine vs. Undead Deadpool
Chapter 233 Zombie Wolverine vs. Undead Deadpool
"I am Reed, the 'Observer'."
"Like the rest of my immortal tribe, I wander through the multiverse, observing countless worlds and countless realities."
"I have personally witnessed the return of the King of Hell to the human world and the birth of the gods on earth, and I have witnessed the slaughter of the elites of the multiverse."
"Now, I will witness the destruction of this world by a virus developed by another 'Reid.'"
"Everything eventually comes to an end, but such an end can be peaceful and tranquil—"
"It could also be an end filled with pain and fear."
"Observer" Reed pulled his body back into a dimension that didn't belong to reality, looking calmly at Connors, whom he and "Zombie Reed" had personally sent to the zombie universe.
"On his very first day in this world, he formed a partnership with 'The Punisher,' vowing to slaughter all the guilty."
"Observer" Reed watched as "Punisher" blasted "Captain America's" head into mush with a close-range shotgun blast and muttered to himself.
"I cannot interfere in anything in this world. I sense a watchful eye watching this place—I must find an agent."
"An agent capable of standing up to the 'punisher' supported by the 'watcher'."
"Observer" Reed gazed upon the zombie universe, finding his ideal match:
A guy carrying two swords, wearing a red and black battle suit, his face completely covered and his eyes rolled back, is dancing gracefully with a zombie wife.
"Author, could you please give me some romantic scenes? Or perhaps I could become a wildly talented writer like Connors?"
Deadpool, holding the zombie wife's hand with one hand and grabbing her spine from behind with the other, looked helplessly at the zombie's rotting face and said:
"—Oh, this is a zombie universe, even love has rotted."
Reaching behind his back, Deadpool drew a long sword and, with unusual gentleness, severed the head of the zombie woman in front of him.
Then toss it casually.
This is a city in Canada. He came to find "Wolverine," and after searching continuously for four hours, he finally found him.
Wolverine has also turned into a zombie, which Deadpool didn't quite expect.
Seeing the ravenous Wolverine lose his mind and lunge at him with his claws outstretched, Deadpool lazily blocked the adamantium claws with his knife:
"You said my mouth is more annoying than a zombie? Congratulations, now you've become a zombie, while I'm still the king of words."
The long sword, forged from a special alloy, clashed with Wolverine's adamantium claws hundreds of times. While Deadpool's fighting skills were certainly impressive, Wolverine was also a master of hand-to-hand combat, and the two fought to a standstill.
"Zombie Wolverine" only talks about "eating meat," while "Deadpool's" mouth never stops:
"Zombie Logan vs. Undead Deadpool—this is practically the ultimate dream for a B-movie director!"
"If this chapter gets a lot of subscriptions, remember to share some of the money with me, since the scene of me getting bitten might trend on social media!"
But one is "Wolverine" who lost his mind due to hunger, and the other is "Deadpool" who was not infected.
Using the brains that zombies lack, Deadpool swiftly sliced a piece of flesh off his own buttocks:
"What's this called again? A self-inflicted injury ruse? A diversionary tactic?"
"Meat! Give it to me now!"
"Zombie Wolverine" roared and pounced.
Deadpool tossed the piece of flesh he'd sliced off his own buttocks into the distance, then quickly clutched his backside, turned away, and pointed at the remaining flesh, saying to Zombie Wolverine:
"Go and fetch it back!"
Before he could even say a word, the moment the fleshy buttocks were thrown out, "Zombie Wolverine" pounced.
He stuffed it into his mouth.
"Not enough! Give me more meat, you bastard!"
"Zombie Wolverine!" he shouted in a hoarse voice.
"Alright, alright, good wolfhound."
Deadpool cut off the flesh that had just grown back on his butt and, as usual, threw it to Wolverine.
After repeating this process more than ten times, "Zombie Wolverine" finally filled his stomach, and his lost sanity returned.
"Ugh! Deadpool, you didn't even wipe your ass?!"
Deadpool: "..."
He reached into his buttocks and rubbed it, then brought it to his nose and smelled it:
"Hiss~~~"
Upon regaining his senses, the "zombie Wolverine" couldn't help but bend over and vomit.
But as the food in his stomach was lost, Wolverine's rationality gradually disappeared, and he turned into the hunger instinct of a zombie.
Driven by this instinctive desire, Wolverine picked up the pieces of flesh he had spat out and put them back into his mouth.
His hungry stomach was filled again, and "Zombie Wolverine" regained his senses. Realizing what he had just done, he couldn't help but feel nauseous again.
Deadpool seemed to be deep in thought.
"If I attached levers and gears to Wolverine's stomach and mouth respectively, and through repeated swallowing and vomiting, perhaps I could create a perpetual motion machine?"
Then he listened intently to the complaints from the readers, and then it dawned on him:
"Oh, the flesh in his stomach—my buttocks will rot and disappear over time, the perpetual motion machine project has failed."
After Wolverine vomited and swallowed three or four times, Deadpool looked at the now-recovered Wolverine slumped on the ground and kicked him.
"Get up, I'm going to tie you up, so I don't have to keep cutting your ass after the food in your stomach has been digested."
"Zombie Wolverine" rolled his eyes at "Deadpool" and remained motionless.
Deadpool, disregarding whether his opponent cooperated or not, ran to the side, grabbed a large piece of wire, and then frantically circled around Wolverine, binding him tightly before stopping.
"If Professor Charles saw you like this, he'd jump out of his wheelchair—if he could still."
Wolverine let Deadpool bind him up like a wire dumpling, continuing to roll his eyes:
"While I'm still sane—get me a fucking bottle of wine."
Deadpool wasn't annoyed. He continued running away, rummaging around for a while, and then returned carrying a bottle of liquor.
Here it comes—Canadian maple syrup and whiskey!
"Zombie Wolverine" opened his mouth—his hands and feet were bound by "Deadpool" with wire, rendering him unable to move.
"—Do you want me to feed you?" Deadpool looked around to make sure no one was watching.
He removed his mask, revealing the pockmarked lower half of his face, then carefully poured the whiskey into his mouth before slowly approaching "Wolverine".
Wolverine's eyes almost popped out of their sockets:
"etc!"
"This won't work?" Deadpool looked at Wolverine in confusion, spat out the wine in his mouth, then pressed the bottom of the bottle against his crotch, and then tilted it down at Wolverine from above.
Bang! That was the sound of the wire snapping.
That's the sound of Adamantium claws stabbing into Deadpool's arm.
"Zombie Wolverine" retracted his claws, caught the bottle steadily, and poured a large gulp into his mouth.
Deadpool looked at the zombie Wolverine with pity:
"Poor thing, the X-Men's health insurance is terrible, they don't even cover the zombie virus."