My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 662

I mentioned several universities in Tokyo.

"If you get accepted, will you be living alone?"

"I really want to, but my family tells me to commute to school."

"I think so too. After all, it only takes an hour to get to Shinjuku."

"I guess Hachiman will be commuting to university too."

"He seems like the type who doesn't want to move out."

"It's amazing that Koyuki has been living alone since high school."

"She feels she can take good care of herself."

It's unbelievable that I'm talking to her about this. Not long ago, we were spending our summer vacation after our second year of high school, just like Hachiman and the others. I can't believe that the "summer that will determine the future" for third-year high school students is about to arrive.

She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. The wind had been blowing in her face the whole time she was cycling, so her eyes were red and swollen.

"I've decided to skip next year's big exam because I'm not adequately prepared in my current situation."

"That's it."

I didn't know how to answer, so I rubbed my eyes like she did.

"But I will definitely go to university."

"Um."

"I really want to graduate from high school in three years. I really can't stand people a year younger than me not using honorifics when they talk to me. I think I won't mind when I go to college."

"I understand."

A breeze swept across the lake, bringing a refreshing coolness to our sweaty bodies.

The fifth volume is also a summer vacation story. This time it will be published in July, which is a perfect timing.

This episode depicts the interactions between Hachiman and several other characters. I initially thought it would be a lighthearted episode, but in the end, a great demon king awaits me.

Yukinoshita also has some scenes in the third episode. My impression of her at the time was that she was a sunny older sister type, but it seems that was a bit of a misconception.

I don't really like her. She brings change to those around her. Hachiman, with his deadpan eyes and twisted logic, becomes a harmless little brother. Yukino, who was always aloof, becomes a weak girl who can't compare to her older sister. Hachiman is good at reading people and quickly integrates into the Service Club, becoming a naive outsider.

An attempt to break up the three people whose bond was gradually deepening.

I understand that stories often change. I also understand that without the elements of introduction, development, climax, and resolution, the opening and closing sequences, it would become a boring story. However, I want to see more of Hachiman, Yukino, and Hihama chatting in the Service Club office.

Hachiman said, "If we don't change, there will be no sadness." I'm afraid of change. You're right, I'm an outsider. But I like to stay in the classroom alone and read during the bustling break time. I like to ride my bicycle wildly through the dimly lit streets after cram school. I like to talk to you about my thoughts on "Growing Up."

I hope the status quo remains unchanged.

I'm a little scared to see the next episode.

She was hospitalized again during the summer vacation.

When I visited her in the hospital, she was lying on the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. I thought she was sleeping, but when I looked at her with her back to me, she raised her head, turned around, and looked at me with her squinting eyes.

"It's so hot outside. I rode my bicycle here, so I'm sweating a lot."

I sat down in the chair as I spoke. She didn't answer. Her hunched back, like a wall, blocked my view.

"By the way, it seems like 'Guo Qing' is going to be adapted into an anime. It's written on the cover of the fifth volume."

"The broadcast time is in the early morning, right? The lights here have to be turned off at nine o'clock."

"I'll record it and burn it to DVD for you."

"No player available."

"I brought my laptop."

The conversation was interrupted. The mask, soaked with sweat, clung to my skin. I could hear medical staff pushing trolleys down the corridor.

"I might not be able to graduate from high school."

Her voice was weak and feeble, sounding as if she were being spoken to through the curtains.

"Really? But—"

My throat is so dry. "And there's the Advanced Level Test (Note 1). You'll definitely get into university."

"Is it that easy?"

She let out a weak, long sigh.

I pulled out the plastic bottle from the side pocket of my backpack, remembering that eating and drinking were prohibited here, and simply watched the sports drink swaying in the plastic bottle.

The theme of the sixth episode is the school anniversary.

The storyline involving preparations for the school anniversary further demonstrates just how capable Yukino is. Not only is she academically excellent, beautiful, and athletically gifted (though lacking in stamina), but she's also incredibly capable—truly amazing. She seems to lack popular support, making her quite suitable as a deputy to oversee everything.

On the other hand, I really couldn't stand (almost) the incompetence of the new character, Sagami. Her naive and irresponsible attitude made me see myself in her. I don't even have any experience working part-time, but I'm starting to worry that I'll become like her after I start working.

The way her scheme gradually fell apart was incredibly realistic. You rarely see this kind of plot in light novels, right? You probably won't find a protagonist in other works who says things like "time will solve everything—that's a lie."

And the protagonist, Hachiman, was incredibly cool in this episode. He always worked behind the scenes, and when it mattered, he decisively resolved the problem (in his characteristic style). It's a scenario that marginalized people often fantasize about. It's a development I like just as much as "single-handedly resisting terrorists who occupy a school."

However, I never got a chance to show my skills until the very end. The school anniversary celebration was over in June, and the terrorists never showed up.

Hachiman's words, "Comfortable change is not growth," deeply moved me. I used to equate such compromises and sacrifices with "growing up." But he first asked us to affirm who we are now.

I can't be that sure about myself right now.

Hachiman is very strong. That's probably why I admire him.

During break time, as I was sitting in my seat reading, someone came up to talk to me.

"Hello--"

Miori Utsunomiya was standing in front of my seat. It was late November and she was still wearing a miniskirt; her legs looked cold. One hand was in her sweater pocket, and the other held a plastic bag from the bookstore.

"She told me to return this to you."

She placed the plastic bag on the table. I reached out and touched it; I could tell it was filled with books.

"Manatsu said she doesn't want to watch anymore."

Utsunomiya looked out the window, and I followed suit. The overcast sky, for some reason, stung my eyes.

She also told you not to come again.

"Really? I understand."

Upon hearing my answer, Utsunomiya nodded sullenly and walked out of the classroom.

Upon opening the bag, I found the sixth volume of "Guoqing" that I had lent to Shiohara three days ago, as well as an unopened letter.

I wouldn't force someone to read the books I like. I've never done that to my brother, who shares similar reading interests. So since she said she didn't want to read it, I won't force her. Even if it's my favorite book, *Guo Qing*.

After the school festival, Hachiman and Yukino finally realized "each other's existence." After half a year in the story and a year and a half in the real world, how much have Shiohara and I deepened our understanding of each other?

Life can never be rewound or restarted—this is Hachiman's inner monologue at the end of episode six. This line truly resonated with me the most, even though I couldn't include it in the letter I wrote to her.

I put the plastic bag containing the books into my drawer. No one in the classroom saw me do this.

Volume 7 was released in March. New books are always published when my circumstances change.

I got into my first-choice university and graduated from high school. Her name was called at the graduation ceremony, but she didn't show up.

I wrote a letter that no one would read.

First of all, I apologize for not visiting you during this time. I didn't ask you what the real meaning was when you said "Don't come again," and I didn't ask you afterward if you had changed your mind. Because I was afraid of being rejected again.

I think I will continue to write to you. This will remind me of when I shared my thoughts on "Guo Qing" with you. For me, the pleasure of discussing it with you was also part of the book's charm.

I hope that one day you will read this letter.

Getting back to the main topic, episode seven is about the graduation trip.

Although the atmosphere was a bit stiff, it seemed like we were having a good time. During my graduation trip, none of those confession incidents happened, and I didn't sneak out of the hotel to eat ramen. Is it because I'm an outsider? Maybe it's the difference between Kyoto and Okinawa.

I can understand Ebina's decision. Since the current relationship is comfortable, it's normal that she doesn't want to change. After watching episode five, I also wrote in my letter, "I don't like change."

However, after graduating from high school, I left behind what Hachiman called "a world so narrow it's laughable" and "a time so short it's frustrating." I had to think about how to survive in the brand new world of university (I really didn't have much motivation).

After that, we should have new topics to talk about. I look forward to that day.

When I said, "I really have no motivation," I was actually filled with anticipation for a new life. Because I didn't realize that she was being imprisoned in that dim, cramped space separated by curtains, in that fleeting moment of time.

Deep down, I longed for a new life, but at heart, I'm someone who hates change. So, in the end, my life remained unchanged. My commute changed from bicycle to train; with a quick scroll through my phone, the hour-long journey to Tokyo was over in the blink of an eye. Sitting quietly in the classroom listening to the teacher, ninety minutes passed in a flash.

I attended a gathering organized by my class for a required course once. The excessive enthusiasm stemming from the loneliness of moving to Tokyo and living alone, and the unhurried demeanor of a native Tokyoite, had nothing to do with me. The harmless, easily understood messages, like LINE stickers, flowed one after another in the izakaya. I really miss the scheming, malicious conversations between Hachiman and Yukino.

The anime adaptation of "Hajime no Aoi" premiered in April. I always stayed up until the early hours of the morning, watching and recording at the same time. I hoped that even if she was curled up in her hospital bed, hugging her knees and closing her eyes, she could hear what Hachiman and the others were saying, now with voices.

Volume 7.5 is a collection of short stories. It depicts events that have occurred between the events of the previous chapters. The timeline is not sequential, so it may be a bit confusing if not viewed in conjunction with the calendar at the beginning.

The cover features Miura. I was wondering if there would be a Miura episode, and sure enough, there wasn't.

While reading the short stories that were never mentioned in the book, I felt as if Hachiman and the others were real people.

I feel the same way when I think of you. The frown on your face when you complained about how bad the boiled fish was for dinner, the blue veins showing through your snow-white insteps, the strange coughing sound you made to imitate a wooden stool—I unconsciously recall those images in my daily life, and rediscover that the time we spent together truly existed.

The longest short story ends with a judo club graduate as the final boss. While reading it, I projected my emotions onto Hachiman, but upon reflection, I realized I'm a university student now, just like the graduate. Right now, I don't want to escape university. Even if I did, being on the fringes and not participating in any clubs, I can't escape back to that high school.

I can feel myself avoiding you. I've come to the entrance of the general hospital several times. I even went there last week. But I just can't bring myself to take that step. I'm afraid to face you. Afraid that you'll say those decisive words, that we'll be severing ties forever.

Hachiman said, "He was forced by the fact that he was 'escaping' from it." That's right.

I have a lot to say to you in person.

I started working at a family-run restaurant in Tokyo. There were far more job opportunities than back home, and the hourly wage was good.

My experience in the service industry has taught me that there are many strange people in the world. I never imagined that a man who came with his wife and young son would steal the toothpicks from the table, container and all.

There are many eccentric characters in "The Legend of the Condor Heroes," but they don't harm others, which is much better. These people all have ways to make their way in society, so Hachiman will definitely be able to find a job too.

The eighth episode starts a few days after the graduation trip, which surprised me a bit.

Episode 7 was released in March, which is eight months in the real world. I didn't realize the main story took so long to come out. Since there's the anime and episode 7.5 to watch, I feel like I've been watching "Nukai no Aoi" all along.

Hachiman says at the beginning, "It is precisely because it will eventually be lost that its beauty is revealed." I can't be that open-minded yet.

Even though I'll never see you again, why do I keep writing these letters? Is it Hachiman's disdainful self-pity? The only thing I'm sure of is that the story of *Hachiman: The Blue Fruit* will continue. I plan to read it to the end. I'd be happy if you could catch up someday.

In this episode, Hachiman, Yukino, and Hihama disagreed on the student council election. I was very sad watching it. I still hope those three stay together.

Hachiman's habit of always putting things off until later led to his isolation. I think I also procrastinate on many things, using them as an escape from reality. Even after starting university, I didn't continue studying, aimlessly spending this grace period before entering the workforce. The problems between us remain unresolved, and we still can't find a chance to reconcile.

I think I can vaguely understand the "true thing" that Hachiman longs for. "To understand each other without words, to know each other without actions, and to remain whole no matter what happens." It must exist somewhere I can reach it.

I learned of her death through LINE.

I had completely forgotten about the group chat we created when we graduated, but suddenly a bunch of notifications popped up, so I clicked on them and saw that they were all messages of condolence for her.

For me, there was no one, inside or outside the group, with whom I could share her story. Everyone's emotions were bottled up inside, with nowhere to vent, which felt like a dead end. In English, it was a dead end.

Dead letter refers to an empty letter or a letter that cannot be delivered.

This happened in mid-January. She passed away three days before the New Year, and only her family attended her funeral.

My classmates were planning in the group chat to go to her memorial hall to offer incense. I didn't participate.

A few days later, I went to her house alone.

Her house was a mansion next to the county road. The old-fashioned door had something that looked like an eaves added to it, which may have belonged to the local village chief or something similar in the past.

I parked my bicycle across the street. There were no pedestrians nearby, and it felt awkward to just stand there, so I pretended to receive a LINE message and glanced at her house while scrolling through my phone.

I remember her saying that her family consisted only of her parents and grandmother. What kind of life did the three of them lead in such a large house? Without her, who should have lived the longest, how would her family get through each day?

I'd seen her mother several times in the hospital. So if I just rang the doorbell and explained why, she should have let me in. But I didn't. I felt that if I did that, our relationship would become nothing more than an ordinary, mundane affair.

In this world, only she and I shared the story of "Guo Qing." It was a special bond. No one heard or saw our conversations. What we gained and lost in that process belonged only to the two of us. Compared to that, mourning and offerings seemed worthless.

I opened the photos I took on my phone when we went to the retention pond. She was smiling in the early summer sun. She seemed so far away from me, standing in the cold wind. My memories of her were hazy; every word we exchanged had vanished, leaving only this photo and a few letters.

I got on my bicycle. The deserted road meant I didn't have to wipe away the tears welling up in my eyes.

Episode nine is about preparing for Christmas activities. These people are always organizing events.

Continuing from the previous episode, Hachiman, Yukino, and Hihama went their separate ways, but they reunited along the way. These three were definitely going to stay together.

In the scene where he asks the two for help, Hachiman finally can't help but say, "I want the real thing."

According to later descriptions, Yukino and Hihama seem to also yearn for the "real thing" (for some reason, Iroha also joins in, but ends up getting rejected).

The word "real thing" reminds me of you. Your death is the "real thing" to me.