My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 21

Yuihama spoke casually, but depending on the listener, it might be perceived as contempt: "Can't you do it?"

Unfortunately, one person present would interpret it that way.

"...Hmph, your eloquence is getting better and better. Putting aside that man, you dare to challenge me."

Yukinoshita grinned. Ah, that strange switch on her body had been turned on again… No matter what challenge she faced, she would accept it head-on and then defeat her opponent with all her might; even if the opponent didn't provoke her, she wouldn't show any mercy. Even someone like me, who doesn't resist like Gandhi, would be severely suppressed by her.

"Okay, Totsuka-kun, I accept your request. All I need to do is improve your tennis skills, right?"

"Yes, yes, that's right. I... I think that as long as I become stronger, everyone will cheer me on."

Totsuka, captivated by the powerful gaze beneath the snow, answered from behind me. He peeked out slightly, looking over my shoulder at the snow-covered figure, his face filled with fear and unease. He looked like a trembling hare, making me want to help him change into a bunny girl outfit.

However, it's truly terrifying that the Ice Queen would agree to help. It wouldn't be surprising if she said, "I can help you, but the price is your life." Are you a witch?

To allay Totsuka's unease, I stepped forward and shielded him behind me.

As soon as I approached Totsuka, I smelled a mixture of shampoo and deodorant. It was an indescribable scent of a high school girl. What brand of shampoo does he use?

"It's great that you want to help, but how?"

"Didn't I just say that? Don't you remember? If you're not confident in your memory, I suggest you take notes all the time."

"Hey, are you serious about what you're saying...?"

I remembered Yukino's words about practicing until death, and she smiled, as if to say, "You're so clever." That smile was terrifying…

Totsuka's skin lost its color again, and his body trembled incessantly.

"Am I going to die...?"

"Don't worry, I will protect you."

I patted Totsuka on the shoulder, and his cheeks flushed as he gazed at me with affection.

"Hachiman-kun... are you serious?"

"No, I'm sorry, I just wanted to say that."

This line ranks third among all the lines that every guy most wants to say. Incidentally, the number one is "You guys go first, I'll leave this to you."

I can't possibly beat Yukino, so I can't protect anyone. But if I don't crack a joke, I can't ease Totsuka's anxiety.

Totsuka sighed, pouted, and said:

"Hachiman's speech is often disorganized, but..."

"Hmm, Totsuka-kun has club practice after school, right? Then we'll have a special training session during lunch break. Everyone, meet at the tennis court."

"Understood~~"

Yuihama finally finished writing her application and handed it in, answering loudly at the same time. Totsuka nodded in response.

From this perspective...

"So... I have to go too?"

"Of course. You're free during your lunch break anyway, right?"

...You're right.

× × ×

The grueling training under the snow is scheduled to begin the following day at noon.

What? I have to go too?

In the end, isn't the Service Society just a group that gathers up the weak and then lets them live a life of idle comfort in a greenhouse? It recruits incompetent individuals, gives them a comfortable place to live—isn't that all?

So, how is this place any different from the youth I hated?

Perhaps Professor Hiratsuka really wants to use this place as a sanatorium to treat our ailments.

But if that were the solution, would we have gotten sick in the first place?

The same goes for Yukinoshita. I don't know what illness she has, but it certainly can't be cured here.

The only way for my injury to heal is for Totsuka to become a girl. Things might be different if Totsuka and I developed a romantic comedy through tennis.

In my opinion, the most adorable person is Totsuka Saika. He's frank and gentle with me. If I could nurture our love together, I might really grow a lot as a person.

But... he was born a man! God is such a fool!

I tasted a slight sense of despair, but still changed into my sports jacket and headed to the tennis court. I gambled on the faint hope that Totsuka might really be a girl!

The high school sophomore's sports jacket was a fluorescent light blue, which looked very conspicuous. Because the color was so awful, almost no students liked it, and no one wanted to wear it except for PE class and club activities.

Everyone was wearing uniforms, and I stood out from the crowd.

As a result, I got caught by that troublesome guy.

"Ha...ha, ha, ha, ha, Hachiman!"

"Don't link my name with laughter..."

Although Soubu High School occupies a large area, no one but Zaimokuza could make such a disgusting laugh. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, blocking my way.

"What a coincidence, meeting you here! I was just about to bring you the draft of my new work. Come, have a good look!"

"Oh, sorry, I'm a bit busy right now."

I slipped past the woodwork stand, ignoring the papers he offered, but he gently grabbed my shoulder.

"...Don't tell that kind of pathetic lie. How could you possibly be busy?"

"I'm not lying! And it's not your place to say that."

Why does everyone say the same thing? Do I look that idle? Hmm... I certainly do look very idle.

"Hmph, I know. Hachiman, you tell a small lie to save face, and then you keep telling more lies to prevent them from being exposed. In the end, you'll keep repeating this cycle and tragically fall into an infinite spiral of deception. But at the end of that spiral is nothingness. Specifically, interpersonal relationships are a kind of nothingness. Turn back before it's too late! Don't worry, you helped me before, and this time it's my turn to help you!"

That line from Zaimokuza is the second most popular line among "every guy wants to say at least once." He gives a thumbs up and strikes a cool pose, which is just annoying to look at.

"I really have something to do..."

I was so angry that I could feel the muscles in my face stiffening, but I still had to explain the situation to the woodworker.

At this time-

"Hikigaya-san!"

As the spirited soprano voice rang out, Totsuka ran over and hugged my arm.

"That's perfect timing, shall we go together?"

"Okay, okay..."

Totsuka had a tennis bag slung over his left shoulder, and for some reason, his right hand was holding my left hand. Why?

"Hachiman... this... this person is..."

Zaimokuza looked back and forth between Totsuka and me with a bewildered expression. His expression gradually changed, and he seemed very familiar. Ah, I remember now, it's Kabuki, isn't it? He widened his eyes, as if about to shout out "Ee-oh~~ Dong dong dong" to reach a conclusion.

"You...you bastard, you actually betrayed me!"

"What betrayal...?"

"Shut up! You half-baked heartthrob! You failed pretty boy! I only pitied you because you were lonely, and now you're getting all smug..."

"Being half-baked and failing are superfluous."

I am truly lonely; I cannot deny that.

The wooden base had a ferocious look on its face, staring at me while muttering incantations.

"I will absolutely not forgive you..."

"Zaimokuza, calm down. Totsuka isn't a girl, he's a boy... right?"

"Nonsense, nonsense, utter rubbish! How could someone so cute be a boy!"

He became even more furious and roared when he heard that even I wasn't very confident about what I was saying.

"Totsuka is cute, that's true, but he's actually a boy."

"Don't say that... saying I'm cute... it's a little bothering me."

Standing next to me, Totsuka blushed and turned her head away.

"Is he...a friend of Hachiman's?"

"Hmm, how should I put it..."

"Hmph! Someone like you doesn't deserve to be my rival (read as friend)."

The lumber mount is starting to act up. Ugh, what a troublesome thing...

However, I can understand his feelings. It's true that there's a sense of betrayal and loneliness when you find out that someone you thought resonated with actually has a completely different sensibility.

In a situation like this, what can I say to mend our relationship? Unfortunately, I rarely interact with others, so I don't know the answer. However, I'm also a little sad. Maybe this guy and I are kindred spirits in some way, and I thought that one day we could understand each other with smiles. But that's ultimately impossible.

A friendship that requires you to read other people's faces, please them, stay in touch, match topics, and go to great lengths to maintain can't really be called a friendship. If this annoying process is called youth, I'd rather not have it.

That's no different from finding satisfaction in a group that doesn't progress. That's deception, a sin that must be condemned.

...On another note, it's really hard to deal with the jealousy of the Zaimokuza.

In order to prove my rightness and justice, I decided to embark on a solitary path.

"Totsuka, let's go."

I took Totsuka's arm, but after replying "Ah, okay..." he didn't do anything else.

"Your name is Caimuzuo, right?"

When Totsuka asked Zaimokuza, he was somewhat surprised, but he still nodded in response.

"Since you're Hachiman's friend, you should be able to be my friend too, right? I'd be very happy if you'd like. Because I don't really have many friends of the same gender as me."

Totsuka gave a shy smile and said.

"Hoo... Haha, hoo, hoo, hoo! Hachiman and I are indeed good friends, no, brothers. No, no, no, I'm the master and he's the servant... Well, well, since you say so, I'll be your... um... 'friend'. Or if you'd like, I can be your boyfriend too."

"Well... that might not be possible. Let's just be friends."

"Oh, I see... Hey, Hachiman, could it be that he likes me? Is this what they call 'peach blossom season'? Is my peach blossom season about to begin?"

Suddenly, the wood carrier moved closer to me and asked quietly.

...The timber pedestal was indeed not my friend.

A guy whose attitude changes drastically the moment he becomes friends with a pretty girl can't possibly be my friend.

"...Totsuka, let's go, or Yukino will get angry if we're late."

"Oh no, that won't do. We need to get out of here quickly. That lady... she's really scary."

After he finished speaking, Zaimokuza followed behind Totsuka and me, it seemed he had become our companion as well. From an outsider's perspective, the way we walked in a line looked quite like a team of heroes fighting dragons... no, rather than heroes fighting dragons, we looked more like Momotaro Dentetsu's god of poverty.

× × ×

Yukinoshita and Yuihama have appeared on the tennis court.

Yukinoshita was still wearing her uniform, while Yuihama had changed into a sports jacket.

They were probably eating here. They quickly packed up their small lunchboxes when they saw us arrive.

"Alright, let's begin."

"Please, please give me your guidance."

Totsuka bowed his head in respect to the snow.

"First, we need to improve the muscle strength that Totsuka lacks the most. Biceps, deltoids, pectoral muscles, abdominal muscles, external obliques, back muscles, thigh muscles. To train all these muscles as a whole, push-ups are... Anyway, try doing them until you're almost dead."

"Wow, Yukino is so smart... Wait, is she on the verge of dying?"

"That's right. Muscles heal themselves after injury, and each time they recover, they build stronger fibers than before. This is called supercompensation. In other words, training to the point of near exhaustion can boost your muscle strength all at once."

"Come on, I'm not a Saiyan..."

"While it won't build muscle immediately, this type of exercise can help increase your basal metabolic rate."

Basal metabolic rate?

Yui tilted her head, a question mark appearing above her head. Yukinoshita seemed somewhat taken aback, as if asking, "You don't even know this?" But rather than scolding Yui, it would be more time-efficient to explain directly, so she briefly added:

"Simply put, it's about making your body more suitable for exercise. If your basal metabolic rate increases, you'll burn calories more easily. To put it more professionally, it's about improving the efficiency of energy conversion."