novelnext Chapter 450
Chapter 450
Day 102 – Nighttime, Lord’s MansionLovers staring into each other’s eyes, slowly walking closer until they’re just within reach, stretching out their hands toward each other… and in the next instant, they spin around and raise their shields in a flash! Tch, sharp!
「Hey, you know, you need to move that shield out of the way or I can’t burn you? This is the ultimate Jealousy (Fire Magic) of a Highschool Boy whose 『time without a girlfriend = age』 you know? It’s meant to sear you to the core, so could you move that shield? I can’t scorch you properly otherwise. Get you nice and golden-brown? That shield’s in the way, okay?」
「「「「Don’t burn us! Don’t scorch us! Jealousy and ultimate fire magic aren’t the same thing! That’s just a magic attack, you idiot!」」」
The Fire Bullets go from red to orange, then glowing blue, until the color vanishes as they reach blinding white. I’ve even prepared five of them, but if that shield gets a hole in it, I’m the one who has to fix it, so if you hold it up like that, I can’t burn you, can I? Just as I thought that, I’m suddenly grabbed from behind and crushed by a mountains of softness, wait, the mountains! The little bouncy hills are suffocating me! Gwaaah!
「「「「Sorry to interrupt, alright, please, continue! Come on, come on, go for a big smooch! How about a 『I missed you, my honey❤』, let’s hear it!」」」
「「「「We’re not doing that! Who are you taking us for!?」」」
「「「「Huh? The Idiot-couples?」」」
「「「「You guys have definitely been way too influenced by Haruka… you’re starting to sound and think just like him.」」」
「「「「…Lies! Impossible!」」」 「Yeah, we’re properly 『race:human』!」 「Geez, don’t scare me like that~」 「That’s slander against maidens!」 「Spreading bad rumors about girls is forbidden, you know?」 「So when is the bed scene?」 「You have to be gentle, you know!」 「And then gradually get more intense?」 「「「Kyaaaah!」」」
No, seriously, could you move out of the way so I can burn them? There’s a blazing, passionate, scandalous scene waiting, so could you move this fluffy mountain of a little raccoon away? For starters? There’s so much soft flesh around I can’t tell who’s who, but I definitely recognize the bite marks from the one gnawing on my head!
「「「「You guys are actually middle-aged men inside, aren’t you!? What’s with 『smooch』stuff anyway, what’s with 『smooch』!?」」」
「「「「Huh, I think I just heard some unforgivable words? Ah, Haruka-kun, you can go ahead and incinerate them now. Nice and thoroughly, all the way to the bone.」」」
「「「「We’re sorry! We’re so sorry, please spare us! And anyway, that white flame earlier was insane! That wasn’t even on the level that we might survive or not, it was way beyond that!」」」
Yeah, red is 600 degrees, orange is 800 degrees, every fire magic or flame magic I’ve seen in this other world has only gone up to that. Probably because they don’t know the concept of flame color temperature, so they can only imagine red or orange. Yellow flames at 1,000 degrees are something only blacksmiths or other craftsmen would know, and they can’t even conceive of the dazzling incandescent white at 1,300 to over 1,500 degrees.
It can’t be helped, charcoal briquettes or wood charcoal can only reach about 1,000 degrees at most. But even a modern gas stove can reach 1,700 degrees, and matches or fireworks can hit a brief 2,500 degrees. They probably haven’t standardized temperatures at all, and don’t even realize it, yeah, fire magic might just be an unconscious modern-knowledge cheat. The image I have of it is already outside this world’s common sense? Yep, I wanna burn something?
「Ah, Haruka-kun. Sorry to suddenly ask this of you. It’s just, when it comes to preparing something delicious on short notice for over a thousand people, we can’t exactly gather all the chefs from across the frontier. The army came together for the sake of this frontier, so as the lord of the frontier, at the very least I wanted to host them with a welcome banquet, even if it meant asking you for the impossible, are you listening? Actually, why were you buried like that when I called for you in the first place? Oh, Pres-dono, sorry to trouble you so soon after you arrived, but could I ask you to interpret the muffled sounds Haruka-kun is making down there? Also, why are my daughter and even the princess helping to bury him? That’s probably quite a weig-, no, forget I said anything! We can’t offer much in the way of hospitality, but please, please, make yourself at home.」
For someone called the Frontier King or the God of War, he is way too weak! But, as expected of a married man, he managed to stop himself after only saying weig-! One more sound and he’d have been dead. Yeah, scary stuff? But seriously, it’s heavy? Gwaaaah!
「Ah, the ring! He is putting the ring on her!」 「「「「Kyaaa! Congratulations on your engagement!」」」」 「「「「Thank you❤」」」」 「「「「Eh? Engagement? What!?」」」」 「…That’s an engagement ring, you know. They come in pairs, right?」 「「「「Seriously?」」」」 「「「「Yeah, left ring finger settles it. Fits perfectly.」」」」 「「「「Wait, Haruka! You said it was for self-defense!」」」」 (*Muffled protests*) 「But it’s even engraved in ancient script with 『Eternal Love』!」 「「「「「Kyaaaaaa!」」」」 「「「「That’s the first we’ve heard of that!」」」」 (Pomp pomp pa-pa, pomp pa-pa-pa♪) 「「「「There’s a snake playing a trumpet!?」」」」 「Yeah, don’t worry about that. Also, you really shouldn’t appraise that snake, it’s bad for your heart.」 「Ah, even the armor is engraved in ancient script with 『I want to protect you forever』 in ornamental lettering.」 「Wow, this one says 『Let’s live together』」 「And over here, 『To my precious one』」 「Looking closely, the patterns on the armor and shield are in cursive English letters, uh, it says, 『I want to protect you with my whole life』」 「Kyaaa, so romanti~c!」 「It’s true~, such detail~. And here, in French: 『la vie en rose avec toi』 (A rose-colored life with you~)」 「Tch~ This lady-killer!」 「「「「We can’t even read or write French! This is the first we’re hearing about this!」」」」 「This shield’s 『Je marche la vie ensemble』(Let’s walk through life together) is wonderful too!」 「Ahhh, and here’s an English one, straight and simple『Love you now and forever』」 「Waa, the Barbarella-san and others are all red-faced. So cute~「 「Well, if someone told you 『tous les deux』」 「No, no, 『Rendre amour pour amour』(Love for Love) is good too.」 「Of course! Even the sword’s scabbard says 『I’m happy when you’re happy』」 「But the ring, with just the short phrase 『My only love』is the most wonderful and the strongest of all.」 「「「「Haruka, what kind of embarrassing stuff is this!?」」」」 「The ultimate one is still this, 『Je t’aimerai toute ma vie』(I will love you all my life)」 「「「「Woo~ woo~♪」」」」 「Why did we ever believe in Haruka’s good intentions?」 「「「「Ah… we were just tired, that’s all.」」」」 「「「「「Be happy—!」」」」」 「「「「「Thank you❤」」」」」 「It’s too late now…」
Silently cooking, arranging, and carrying dishes around, the furious waves of food filled the tables in a raging storm of delicacies. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the Idiots flirting and acting all lovey-dovey over here and over there and over there! And now they’ve got the nerve to demand food from me while I’m working so earnestly, the audacity! Let’s make the BBQ skewers thicker, heavier, and sharpen them well… yeah, with these, even a monster would go down in one hit… urya?
「That’s not 『urya』! That’s definitely not a skewer meant for food, is it!?」 「What’s with that 『look, I put a piece of meat on it so it counts』 javelin!?」 「And don’t throw it at this range!, Wait, that doesn’t mean you can throw it from farther away either!! Don’t throw it at all, that’s terrifying!!」
Just when I thought I got them, they took only the bait meat and dodged! Have they gotten smarter, approaching fish levels now!?
「Hey, normally, if a poor high school boy with no girlfriend is working so hard, and a guy comes over arm-in-arm with his girlfriend to show off how lovey-dovey they are, then a spear-throwing attitude or action is totally justified, you know? Yeah, it was even written in the Loophole Legal Code, right?」
The macho lady, whose usual gallant expression was nowhere to be seen, clung to the Idiot’s arm, resting her head lightly on his shoulder, her face overflowing with happiness.
「「「「This is all your fault!」」」「 「And it wasn’t just a spear-throwing attitude, you actually threw a spear!!」
Flirting while also picking a fight, what an outrageous thousand-fold Idiots.
「Eh, what are you even on about? Even if you blame someone else for you being Idiots, being Idiots won’t get cured, you know? Yeah, let’s just burn you? I mean, I asked you which decorative engraved message you wanted, right? And you guys were the ones saying 『any of these is fine, this one’s good』 I’m completely innocent here, and yet you are coming here, flirting in my face, targeting, slandering, and bullying this poor highschool boy? So if my scorching jealousy(Fire Magic ) flares up and accidentally sets you on fire, it’s just an unfortunate accident, right? Lemme burn you?」
What a ridiculous accusation. Honestly, I even made sure to confirm the finished items on delivery, leaving no room for complaint, perfectly fulfilling my responsibilities. And besides, you guys went to plenty of international competitions, didn’t you? You can speak English! It’s entirely on you!
「Don’t burn us! …Though, well, you really made her happy, and I doubt I’d ever be able to say it out loud in my life, so… thanks. For the ring and the armor.」
「You even put it on the sword’s scabbard too… Well, whether it’s life or the battlefield, urgh… I guess we’ll just walk together! Walk together!」
「Yeah, I’ve got plenty to say, but… the weapons and armor are top grade. There’s no more reliable protection than this. Thanks.」
「「「「Haruka-sama, we will treasure them for life. Thank you. Until the moment our lives end, we will be with our partners and the equipment you’ve given us.」」」
Yeah, they’re definitely showing off, right? And yet I’m here stuck grilling BBQ, agonizing over what could possibly be more worth burning than these guys? Yeah, and the perpetually hungry high school girls are forcing me to make more!
「Hey, it’s fine to break and throw away the equipment, you know? That’s what it’s for, to keep you alive. If it breaks while protecting your life, then that’s what it was meant for. Yeah, don’t let the equipment and your life end together. Properly survive, okay? Congrats?」
「「「「「「Thank you (very much).」」」」」
They flaunted it right in front of me, flirting away! Frustrating, maddening, envy-inducing, irritating. Putting my fury into chopping vegetables for stir-fry and yaki-udon, I also prepare ice cream for dessert… The road to ice cream had been a long one, well, the real wait was until we had a stable supply of fresh cream and refrigeration. Now that fresh cream had finally begun circulating, there was still no such thing as vanilla, so the ingredients were some kind of milk, some kind of egg yolk, something that was probably sugar, and something that had to be fresh cream.