Girl Band, Gravity Capture

Page 33

But... if my feelings for Xu Doujun are also mixed with dark and twisted desires, an impure love... then wouldn't that be a perfect match?

With this uncontrollable self-destructive mentality welling up from within, the girl spoke with a smile, but there was not a trace of light in her eyes.

Seeing Xu Doujun's nervousness, I'm a little reluctant to answer so quickly...

"I'll feel happy because of the guilt I feel for someone important... I'm such a terrible woman, I'm sorry, are you disappointed?"

In that case, there's no need for you to feel pity or shame towards me, right?

Everyone's relationship has its flaws, right? I'm showing you my selfishness, so don't be sad anymore.

Indeed, I prefer you to feel guilty and uneasy when you're happy.

Let us together happily and joyfully accept each other's inferiority and sink into imperfect love.

"……Do not."

It wasn't that he sensed the darkness and heaviness churning within the girl's heart and therefore denied that desire. Yuan Xudou was simply responding to her self-deprecating words.

The handsome face pressed close to Nagasaki Motoyo's cheek, and the soft voice that rang in her ear clearly conveyed the boy's relieved murmur into her mind.

"...That's wonderful."

"It's so good that I don't have to lose you... Su Shi."

Nagasaki Motoyo's body trembled slightly.

Yuan Xudou didn't care at all about what she considered terrible and awful.

If a boy cannot accept the slight psychological damage or illness that a girl may have developed due to a lack of love, he will not agree to her approaching him in the first place.

Nagasaki Motoyo's love and care for him cannot be concealed by those insignificant petty thoughts. Just because her actions were tinged with a bit of personal scheming, to say that he was only thinking of himself and ignoring the girl's genuine efforts and sacrifices... Minamoto no Koto is not the kind of person to do such a thing.

"..."

Once again, Yuan Xudou reached out and pulled her out of the shadows he had created for himself.

That warm feeling that flowed through her body, dispelling all her confusion, will probably stay with her for a long time.

Unable to contain her excitement any longer, the girl suddenly turned around and hugged his back tightly with both hands.

A muffled and weak voice, seemingly tinged with a sob, came from her pretty head buried deep against Yuan Xudou's chest, echoing in the empty night.

"Why...why didn't I meet you sooner..."

"In that case, I'm sure I can be a better version of myself when I get along with you..."

"Xu Doujun—"

She suddenly raised her head, her pale blue eyes, which seemed to flicker with light, gazing at his face.

With the last vestige of twisted desire erupting, she stared intently at the boy and asked the question that had been utterly abandoned in the pursuit of satisfying her own morbid and depraved desires.

"—If I jump from here, you won't be able to stop me..."

Will you come with me?

If their roles were reversed, she would definitely jump without hesitation—from Nagasaki Motoyo's eyes, Genji understood this fact.

Even if they fall into hell, they will still be entangled together... She finally understood what she wanted, and it was even heavier and more distorted than the boy had imagined.

His response was:

"I can."

Without wavering, without being perfunctory, without questioning or adjusting the preconditions, Yuan Xudou calmly accepted the emotion that was more clinging than a deep pool and more binding than chains.

"But not to die with you, I will save you."

Is there any possibility of survival after jumping from a height of more than 20 stories?

Perhaps so. But what about adding another person we need to save, like Qi Er, San Ling Shi, and Shan Si? Yue Yi?

Nagasaki Motoyo didn't know where the confidence in the boy's tone came from... but no matter what, she could tell that his answer was absolutely truthful—he would jump into the abyss with her, even if the result might be death.

That's enough.

"...Xu Doujun, your emotions are surprisingly heavy as well."

A person with a sound mind would definitely advise her against having such thoughts, or evade the question and wouldn't be able to give an easy answer. After all, it involves life and death, and no matter what one would do in that situation, a normal person would subconsciously avoid that possibility.

So, Won Heo-doo, who really considered how to deal with that kind of thing and gave a serious answer... in some ways, his feelings are also different from ordinary people.

"not worried?"

"Ah."

The girl pressed close to him rubbed her cheek against his chest, and her light blue eyes finally lit up with their usual soft light.

Having received such a direct response to her desires, Nagasaki Motoyo, her face flushed with pleasure, breathed contentedly. Then, her moist and sticky gaze slowly climbed onto Genji's cheeks.

"However, I have one more question... this is my last question, and it's nothing strange."

Seemingly afraid that the boy might think she wasn't satisfied even with that response, she quickly added her own words.

"go ahead."

Yuan Xudou didn't seem to care much.

Whatever kind of security she might want, he felt he could handle it.

However, things took an unexpected turn.

"That's the one……"

"Could I stay here tonight...?"

"...?"

Chapter 43 won't let me down...right?

In the end, Nagasaki Motoyo's request, which was clear and overly explicit, was rejected by Genji Koto.

No matter what, living together at fifteen is still too early. Even if she said she could sleep on the sofa, it wouldn't work. On one hand, he couldn't bear to see the girl staying here alone, and on the other hand, if he let her sleep in the living room today, where would she sleep in a few days? Yuan Xudou didn't dare to think about it.

Rather than waking up one day to find the door, which should have been locked, inexplicably open, and a familiar but not-so-probable girl lying on his bed, wearing a thin nightgown, gently smiling and saying "Good morning" to him... Yuan Xudou felt it was better to nip the problem in the bud as soon as possible.

Ultimately, Motoyo still knew her limits. Although she sometimes did some unexpected and magical things when he wasn't paying attention, she would never cross the line when the boy clearly refused.

But if her attitude isn't so certain, she'll have to use her uniquely logical thought process to figure out how to do what she wants.

As compensation, before Nagasaki Motoyo left, the two held each other tightly, looking like the kind of silly couple you'd see on the street who were completely oblivious to what others thought and stuck together in everything they did.

...Although it was indeed very comfortable to hug. A girl's body temperature is slightly higher than a boy's, and holding her felt like holding a fluffy, soft cotton quilt that had been sun-dried. She was soft and fluffy, exuding a natural fragrance, and her skin was very smooth. She was a little more fleshy than Xiangzi, well-developed, but not heavy at all.

However, speaking of Xiangzi...

After seeing off Nagasaki Motoyo, who was reluctant to leave, at the door, Gen Xudou closed the door, straightened his slightly disheveled and wrinkled shirt, and then returned to the balcony.

In a few minutes, the clock on the wall will chime out the crisp sound of ten o'clock at night.

He quietly gripped the metal railing beam with both hands. The gentle breeze, which had turned from slightly cool to icy, brushed against the boy's brow, slowly taking away the remaining heat from his body and restoring his usual tranquility.

The lights of the surrounding buildings gradually flickered and went out, and the shimmering lights on the street below gradually thinned out. Although there were still scattered night markets supporting patches of fluorescent light, the tranquility of the night eventually descended gently upon the glitz and glamour of the city.

The starry sky above seemed to become even more dazzling and magnificent, projecting a complete and continuous bright silver river onto his eyes, based on his silent, dark pupils that were the same color as the night sky.

This was the third time Yuan Xudou had seen such a view today. But only this time could he truly clear his mind and appreciate the intoxicatingly brilliant sunset.

Then, he remembered what Toyokawa Shoko had whispered in his ear before he left the manor.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

"Xu Dou, you and Su Shi have a good relationship, right?"

"Oh dear... your eyelid suddenly twitched. So Xu Dou can be nervous too? It seems your relationship isn't as casual as it appears in front of others."

"But... it's okay."

Gently lifting her long, sky-blue hair from her forehead, words mingled with a girlish charm and capriciousness escaping from Toyokawa Shoko's rosy and lovely lips.

"After all, Su Shi is also an important member of the band. It's a good thing that the 'family' members get along well."

"Besides, just like with the lamp, Su Shi seems to have known Xu Dou before I did, right? I'm not the kind of person who would get emotional over something like this."

If, while saying this, she hadn't unconsciously tightened her grip on the boy's neck, drawing them closer together, her words might have been more convincing.

She was actually a little bothered, but if she said it out loud, it would make her seem unreasonable, since she was the one who came later—Yuan Xudou could probably sense what she was thinking.

However, although she wasn't as tolerant as she claimed, surprisingly she didn't seem to have much dissatisfaction—she didn't seem to care much about the matter.

Yuan Xudou remained silent, waiting for her to finish speaking.

Finally, after uttering those slightly insincere words as a prelude, the girl revealed her purpose in bringing up the topic.

"...Anyway, she can't understand you like I do."

Temporary closeness is only temporary. The resonance of two souls is what can last and transcend all superficial relationships.

It was precisely because of her unwavering self-confidence that Toyokawa Shoko was so tolerant.

It's like lending a cherished, marked treasure to a friend for a short time... Only when you firmly believe that it will never leave you can you have the magnanimity and generosity to share it.

Moreover, Nagasaki Motoyo has not openly proclaimed their close relationship within the band, thus contributing to the harmony of the group.

Besides being Xu Dou's soulmate, Toyokawa Shoko, who is also the leader of [CryCHIC], felt that since the other party had made considerable concessions, she, as the leader, should also show the magnanimity she should have.

"It's something we agreed on: making sure every member of the band gets along well. You're also a member of [CryCHIC], so there's nothing wrong with getting along well with Su Shi... Hmph."

But no matter what, saying these things out loud still left her with a slightly unpleasant feeling... Toyokawa Shoko let out a soft hum and stopped saying those things that even she herself didn't quite believe.

"Anyway, I'm entrusting Su Shi to your care... but don't forget."

She stretched out her right hand, her slender, fair fingers gently tracing circles on the boy's chest, the soft fingertips bringing a slightly tingling sensation.

At this moment, the girl who was gazing intently at him finally spoke the words she most wanted to tell him.

“Xu Dou, you are special to me…”

So, I believe you won't do anything to betray that trust...right?

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

My thoughts return to the present.

Recalling this incident, Won Heo-doo sighed, feeling that he suddenly lost his mood for stargazing.

Xiangzi and Su Shi... both of their thinking completely deviated from the realm of normal people, each heading towards two different extremes.

Born into a position of power, Toyokawa Shoko experienced little hardship or setback except for the unavoidable tragedy of her mother's death. She felt there was nothing she couldn't do, possessing so much that she could easily share her warmth with others.

And, having so little, that as long as she gets what she wants, she doesn't really care whether it's also enjoyed by others, Nagasaki Motoyo.

...And then there's myself, who also accepted them, and was clearly not quite normal either.

What will life be like in the future...?

Anyway, things will definitely not go back to the uneventful and mundane past.

Chapter Forty-Four: Just Happy for You

Yuan Xudou is not the only one who stands under the night sky gazing at the stars.

After the boy left, Toyokawa Shoko felt her room was somewhat empty and didn't want to stay there any longer, so she chose to go outside and get some fresh air.

As a result, instead of calming down as she wished, her round, fair face flushed with an alluring blush and her heart raced as she recalled the bold actions she had taken after being overwhelmed by the joy she felt upon seeing Yuan Xudou.

Considering that walking outside like this would be impossible to explain if the maid saw her, she eventually went back to her room and went to the balcony to get some fresh air.

"Miss."

Just as she had almost composed herself and was about to take a bath, change her clothes, and go to bed, there was a knock on the door from the maid, accompanied by a respectful greeting.

Toyokawa Shoko's heart jumped.