Case File Compendium

Chapter 160 You are gone, once again

He Yu stood there blankly.

He felt that he must have heard wrong.

"What did you say?"

"..."

But before Xie Qingcheng could speak, He Yu immediately interrupted him, and then stammered as if trying to escape something: "No, no, no... You, wait a moment..."

"Chuanbei Sydney is still stewed in the pot, I'll get it for you...I..."

It seems that a cup of Chuanbei Sydney can change everything.

The boy turned around and wanted to run towards the kitchen, as if it was his shell, and he would not be stabbed by any sharp weapon if he escaped in.

But Xie Qingcheng's voice came, freezing his footsteps.

"No need, He Yu."

"..."

"I should go back."

Xie Qingcheng and He Yu have slept with each other many times, and many times when they woke up, they turned their faces and refused to recognize anyone.

Only this time, when he congratulated him, he also hurt himself severely.

Every word uttered from the throat, a thorn pierced into the heart, so that Xie Qingcheng was already seriously ill, and his body, which was only struggling, was trembling slightly.

But He Yu couldn't see it.

After hearing Xie Qingcheng's decisive words, he couldn't hold back his tears. Now his face was full of tears, and he didn't dare to look back.

He felt that Xie Qingcheng was bullying him again.

Every time Xie Qingcheng used him up, he would not want him, and would say anything cruel.

He didn't know what he didn't do well, he obviously put his heart into it, boiled all his feelings like rock sugar pears in that pot, trying to make it as easy to eat and digest as possible, Then he handed it to the man apprehensively.

But Xie Qingcheng said, it's over.

He can never like him.

He Yu turned his back to Xie Qingcheng, and opened his mouth. The first time, he couldn't make a sound, and it wasn't until the second time that he found his own voice.

Very hoarse.

"...You, you eat... the pear first, we're talking about this, okay?"

"........."

He Yu was choked with sobs: "You can eat a little... you can eat a little... okay?... I have learned it for a long time..."

I have studied for a long time.

I didn't know how to do housework, peel fruit, or how to stew pears with rock sugar Chuanbei.

Originally, I would not love anyone so humblely.

You can't take care of someone like this.

Now I can.

I have learned it for a long time, Xie Qingcheng.

Just have a taste.

Just look at me.

He Yu's fingers were still wrapped in bandages, and when he was peeling a pear, he cut his hand and bled.But he didn't care about it at the time, he just thought that when Xie Qingcheng woke up, he could bring him a bowl of steaming pear paste.

But Xie Qingcheng woke up, and Xie Qingcheng said that he didn't want him.

He Yu's tears kept falling, he cried so sadly, but suppressed his voice, he refused to let Xie Qingcheng hear it, and he didn't want to turn around to let Xie Qingcheng see it.

He finally walked into the kitchen with his head bowed, and slammed the door behind him.

On the countertop in the kitchen, there are sugar, pear pieces, and a knife for cutting fruit.

He Yu tidied up those things little by little, weeping silently while putting them away.

In fact, this apartment has never had a fire since he got the key.He used to live alone, and he was always too lazy to cook. He either went out to eat, or asked the hotel chef to prepare it and send it to his house.

This is the first time he has opened fire here for one person, turning an "apartment" into a "home".

But I didn't expect it to end like this.

He Yu suppressed his crying, and stood in the kitchen for a long time, trying to calm down his emotions, and finally washed his face, so that Xie Qingcheng would not see that he had shed tears.

After an unknown amount of time, the kitchen door was pushed open.

Xie Qingcheng stood outside the door and had already changed his clothes.He said to him, "He Yu."

"..."

"I didn't make this decision because I thought there was nothing wrong with you."

"..."

"And because of myself. I really can't accept a man's liking."

He Yu lowered his eyes and stood helplessly by the sink: "...gender...is that important to you?"

He looked up.

Xie Qingcheng knew right away that this child... had cried.

Those eyes were moist and a little red, just looking at him like that.

"Xie Qingcheng, are these so important?"

"..."

"It's more important than sincerity, isn't it?"

Xie Qingcheng was unable to answer.

What can he say?He can't say, I'm sorry, He Yu, I don't think you are a man, in fact, it's because I can't live long, and I found that I can't change your feelings for me, so I have to do this, I hope you Don't waste your youth on me.

He Yu was quiet for a while, looking at the small flames of pear soup rolling on the stove.

He had been enduring it all the time, but at this moment he couldn't help it anymore.

He looked back at Xie Qingcheng, his voice trembling slightly because of sadness: "Do you know Xie Qingcheng? In this world, it is impossible for you to find another person who loves you like me."

Xie Qingcheng looked at him for a long time, and at this moment he really wanted to stretch out his arms to comfort this clumsy, embarrassed, humble but also proud young dragon.

His feelings for He Yu, from the initial shock to the later doubts, from the later doubts to the present heartbreak.

When Xie Qingcheng and Li Ruoqiu divorced, he said that he had never seen it before, and he would not believe that kind of love that flies into the flame without caring.

It was He Yu who let him see it.

The clearer he saw this love, the more painful it was in his heart.He Yu was like a puppy he accidentally saw on the road, because he felt so pitiful, so he threw some food to it.He originally just wanted to maintain such a simple relationship, and never thought of adopting this puppy, or establishing any unnecessary intimacy with it.

But the puppy didn't think so.

It waits obediently for him in that position every day, and when it sees him, it will happily run over and rub around his legs. It has been tamed by him unintentionally—but he knows that he will be there soon. It will not take this road, and it will not wait for the passerby.

Apart from not feeding it any food, or even pretending not to see it, what choice does he have?

But the puppy didn't know, the puppy whimpered and chased after him, wondering why he suddenly ignored it, was it too dirty?Still too ugly?Or is it because it is a small sick dog?So he will always just feed it a few mouthfuls of food, but he doesn't want to hug it, and he can't like it.

Xie Qingcheng finally lowered his hands.

He didn't give He Yu that hug.

He said: "I know that it is impossible for me to meet someone who likes me like you."

He Yu slightly opened his eyes wide, with some faint hopes flickering in them.

Xie Qingcheng did not deny his feelings.

Having experienced the parting when the boy was 14 years old, Xie Qingcheng knew that he should not deny any sincerity of He Yu.This was the last respect and protection he could give He Yu.

"He Yu, I'm already 33. I've been married and divorced. I've met many times and met countless people." Xie Qingcheng leaned against the warm stove, weakly, quietly, almost Gently, he told He Yu the words that really came from his heart, "Actually, my conditions are not very good. I am old, in poor health, I don't understand customs, I am still busy with work, and I can't give others much materially. satisfaction. I have self-knowledge.”

He Yu's tears were about to fall again, he shook his head.

Xie Qingcheng is a person who almost never underestimates himself.

He is confident and strong.

But at this moment, Xie Qingcheng was in front of him, almost sighing and expressing his shabbiness one by one, watching him soberly and calmly admit how bad he was was even more painful than Xie Qingcheng's rejection of him .

He Yu choked up and said, "No..."

"What I said is the truth." Xie Qingcheng was very calm, facing a person who treats himself with sincerity, he can also show him his embarrassment, "Actually, I know that people like me , the most suitable ending is to die alone—I know that I am good-looking and will attract the likes of some girls, but liking and love are different, and love and true love are different. After my divorce with Li Ruoqiu , I have given up my mind, thinking that I will never get a true love again."

"But you gave me your affection."

"He Yu, I'm sorry, I didn't believe that you really liked me from the beginning. Because you are so young and a boy again, I thought that you made a mistake in your feelings, and even wanted to guide You, let you admit that it is just a kind of dependence." Xie Qingcheng paused, coughed lightly, and then continued, "I know I broke your heart."

"Thank you brother..."

"Listen to me." Xie Qingcheng's lips were light-colored, and at the moment they were even more morbidly white, "...I know you are the best, and you are the best for me. You almost want to put your own Dig out your heart and show it to me, wanting me to understand your intentions."

"I've seen it all now. He Yu. I already understand it all."

The kid really couldn't help it this time, the water vapor in his eyes was getting heavier and heavier, he turned his head to the side, paused for a while, and then raised his hand to wipe his eyes.

He was really wronged.

The feeling of being constantly denied, suppressed, misunderstood, and finally recognized one day, anyone who has experienced it may understand the bitterness and bitterness that surged to the heart at that moment.

"It's my fault. I'm too self-righteous. I feel that I'm older than you and know more than you. I don't respect your feelings."

With red eyes, He Yu said in a low voice, "Brother Xie..."

Xie Qingcheng: "He Yu, I have never met anyone who liked me as much as you. I know that it is impossible for me to meet someone who likes me as much as you do. You have given me so much vicarious memories and feelings."

"..."

"Thank you very much."

"..."

"real."

When Xie Qingcheng said this, he sighed softly.

He closed his eyes, his Adam's apple rolling.

He finally gave He Yu the apology and the acknowledgment that should be given.

The rest is the cruelty that must be said.

He expressed all the warmth in his heart, his chest was about to freeze to seal the city... He slowly opened his eyes, and said to He Yu: "But I still can't accept you. I can't do it."

He Yu: "You, why are you..."

"Because I feel guilty, I feel so guilty when I'm with you, I feel that the things I did, all the things we did last night... are... so immoral, so counterintuitive. It's so wrong It should happen." Xie Qingcheng forced himself to say these words, "...can you think about what you were doing when I was 20 years old? I was 20 years old and you were only seven years old. The first time I saw You, you are so young, you are just a child. When I was in high school, you were just born... The more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems... We would be a laughing stock together, you understand? "

But He Yu looked at him with red eyes and shook his head: "I don't understand."

"..."

"Why are we both together, and you have to care about others? I don't care about anything. I don't care what others say about me. "

"He Yu...you don't deserve that kind of torture. It's painful to feel constantly being talked about. You can't..."

"I'm not afraid." He Yu said, "And you have been suffering from those things all the time. From the moment you left the hospital, you have been suffering from such torture. Why can't I bear it?"

"..."

"I know you are afraid that I will be hurt in the same way, and that others will laugh at me for falling in love with men from my uncle's generation... But I don't care about them at all! I don't care what other people say about me, because I know I am not! I I just love someone, no matter how others criticize me, I will not change."

The boy's expression is very stubborn, his eyes are so stubborn.

"I don't care about them, I don't care about their eyes or their mouths, Xie Qingcheng, I don't care about anyone in this world, except you."

"..."

Xie Qingcheng's heart door was trying to seal it shut, but He Yu wanted to break in again and again, and before that, he wanted to prevent the door of the ice city from closing with his flesh and blood.

Xie Qingcheng felt even more uncomfortable.

I'm in hell, will you come too?

Can a sea of ​​fire turn into a river of stars, can a mountain of knives turn into a fragrant forest...

He closed his eyes and said, "But I care."

He Yu: "..."

"I can't stand messing with my sister's students."

He Yu refused to give up, and said like a lunatic: "If you must care, then I can drop out of school."

"...It's useless for you to drop out of school. I can't stand being with a boy who is 13 years younger than me."

"Then I can find a way to change my ID card."

"I can't stand being with your dad either—with He Jiwei's son."

He Yu became more and more anxious: "Then I—then I—"

Xie Qingcheng raised his hand, and gently touched He Yu's head.He didn't let He Yu say the second half of the sentence, Xie Qingcheng knew that every sentence he said seemed crazy, but it was true.He said to He Yu: "I understand all your sincerity, but... I'm sorry."

"..."

"This is my final decision."

Xie Qingcheng felt that he couldn't face He Yu like this anymore, he put his hand down, wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't say it, he turned around - he was about to leave...

That is at this moment.

He Yu chased after him and hugged him from behind.

The hot tears that the young man had been holding back fell on the back of Xie Qingcheng's neck, on the cinnabar mole, paused for a few seconds, and then slipped down.

"Thank you brother..."

"..."

"Thank you doctor..."

"..."

"Xie Qingcheng...!!"

"Are you leaving again..." He Yu's voice was obviously choked with sobs, "Are you leaving me again...?!"

It was a cloudy day, and the light seemed so faint, shining in through the thick window panes, without any warmth at all.The thin, silver-like frost light lightly outlined an edge around the figures of He Yu and Xie Qingcheng, as fragile as the dew on the branches in early spring, melting with the touch of a fingertip.

Xie Qingcheng was hugged tightly from behind by him, the back was hot, the back of the neck was hot, the steaming mist from the kitchen was hot, the heart of the boy, the tears of the boy, the sweetness of a cup of pears that the boy cooked for his clumsy The soup is hot.

His heart couldn't condense in such a temperature, like a vast ocean, it blurred his own vision.

"Don't want me, please, Xie Qingcheng...don't want me..."

"..."

"I can't love anyone else here, I've already given you my heart, don't leave...Xie Qingcheng..."

"do not go……"

Xie Qingcheng wanted to turn around and hug him more than ever.

But he also knew better than ever that if he hugged him today, everything would never turn back, and when his organs failed and he died from exhaustion, He Yu would suffer more pain than now.

The little milk dog on the side of the road was chasing the human beings, not understanding why the human beings didn't look at him, why they kept stopping, it was heartbroken, and the whimpering sound penetrated deep into the human heart.

pain.

It hurts.

Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes, and finally a tear fell from the end of Canglong's eyes - it was the last drop of warmth before his heart fell into a world of ice and snow.

Tears fell on the ground, but He Yu didn't notice.

Xie Qingcheng didn't say anything, he raised his cool hand, and gently patted He Yu's hand on his waist.And then——he broke free from his warmth, pushed the door open, and walked towards the frosty road.

There is no turning back.